You are not choosing a place today. You are checking whether a place could be the backup plan you write down now, so you are not making the decision at 2am in a hospital hallway. Bring the same list to every tour so you can compare the answers.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Check the license and the public record
Look up the community in your state's public licensing lookup before you go. Note the license status, any recorded citations, and the date of the most recent inspection. Ask the staff how to read the inspection reports and whether they can give you a copy. You will learn more from how they answer than from the brochure.
Ask who decides when care needs change
Ask what triggers a move to a higher level of care within the building, and who makes that call. Ask whether the community can meet needs that go beyond its listed services, and what happens when it cannot. Ask what the staffing looks like on nights and weekends, in actual hours, not adjectives. Write down every answer and the name of the person who gave it.
Read the terms before you sign
Ask for the full written agreement and take it home. Ask how the monthly charge is set, what can change it, and how much notice is needed to raise it. Find the section on notice to leave, refunds, and what happens to belongings if your parent moves out. Ask who signs for your parent and who can sign for you if you are the contact. Have someone read the agreement who does not work for the community. This is a checklist for questions to ask, not legal advice, so use a lawyer if the contract is complicated.
Keep the list with the plan
Put the written answers in the same folder as the rest of your backup plan. You will be glad you asked the questions while you were calm. Public sources for the licensing and inspection steps are listed on our Sources page.