I cry every day. Is this caregiver depression, and who do I call tonight?
Burned Out Daughter / The feeling
A website cannot diagnose you. It can hand you the public lists, the two-week line the Family Caregiver Alliance uses, and the numbers that answer at 2am.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
By the desk, not a clinician. September 11, 2026.
hours with no gold. Crying every day is what a lot of bodies do at 168.
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun- You: 168
- Nobody: 0
- Off: 0
I cry every day. You typed "caregiver depression" next to it because you want to know whether the crying has a name, and whether having the name means you are failing her. A website cannot give you the name. A doctor can. This page can hand you the public lists, the two-week line the Family Caregiver Alliance uses, and the numbers that answer when the crying does not stop at 2am.
Nothing here is a diagnosis. Read that twice. Then read the lists, because they were written for people in your kitchen.
Is crying every day the same thing as depression?
This page cannot say, and it will not try. What the Family Caregiver Alliance does say is that it is not unusual for caregivers to develop mild or more serious depression as a result of the constant demands they face while providing care. Its page lists what to watch for over more than two weeks: feeling sad, tearful, empty or hopeless; feeling tired all the time with difficulty being motivated to do anything; becoming easily agitated or angered; feeling that nothing you do is good enough. Two weeks is the line. Crying after a brutal night that eases after a good one is grief and fatigue. Crying every day for longer than two weeks is the prompt to call your doctor about you.
The same page says depression deserves to be treated with the same attention afforded any other illness, such as diabetes or high blood pressure, and that the first step is to talk to your doctor. If the word depression feels wrong, the Alliance says you can say "feeling blue" or "feeling down" and describe what you actually experience. Describe the crying. Describe the sleep. Describe how long.
The National Institute on Aging's caregiver stress list includes feeling sad or hopeless, or losing interest in activities you used to enjoy, next to exhaustion, trouble sleeping, and skipping showers. The Alzheimer's Association lists depression among its ten symptoms of caregiver stress. None of that is a diagnosis from this page. It is the public list the people who study caregivers keep.
How common is this among caregivers?
Common enough that you should stop treating it as a private defect. The Family Caregiver Alliance summarises the research: estimates show that between 40 to 70 percent of caregivers have clinically significant symptoms of depression, and that studies show 30 to 40 percent of dementia caregivers suffer from depression and emotional stress. If a dementia diagnosis is part of the week, the Alzheimer's Association reports that nearly 13 million Americans provide unpaid care for people with Alzheimer's or other dementias, and that 59 percent of dementia caregivers report high to very high emotional stress.
The Alliance is also blunt about sleep: loss of sleep as a result of caring for a loved one can lead to serious depression. If you cry every day and you have not slept through a night in months, those are not two separate mysteries. Count the nights. Bring the number to the doctor.
The NIA adds that caregivers are less likely than others to get preventive health services and tend to have a higher risk of physical and mental health issues. Crying every day is a reason to get into a clinic, not a reason to postpone your own appointment again.
Who do I call tonight if I cannot stop crying?
If the crying is tonight and you cannot wait for a weekday clinic, use the line that is awake. 988 is available 24/7/365 by call, text or chat, and it is for everyone. You do not have to be in danger to use it. You have to be a person who needs to say something to another person at 2am, which tonight you are. The Alliance says when your emotional pain overshadows all pleasure, it is time to seek treatment for depression, especially if you are having thoughts of suicide, and speaking with your physician is the first step. If the thoughts are here now, 988 is the first step, and the physician is the morning.
If a dementia diagnosis is part of the week, the Alzheimer's Association 24/7 Helpline at 800.272.3900 is free, around the clock, 365 days a year, with bilingual staff or interpreter service in more than 200 languages. In Greater St. Louis, United Way 211 reaches a trained resource specialist 24/7. A support group will not treat depression. It will put you in a room where the crying is ordinary. The St. Louis rooms are on their own page.
What helps the week while you wait for the appointment
Hours off do not treat depression. They do change the week that is feeding it. The NIA's definition of respite is short-term relief for primary caregivers, a few hours at a time, at home. Book four. Sleep in them. Aging Ahead is the county door for unpaid caregivers, at (636) 207-0847. The city door is (314) 612-5918.
Stop saying "I'm fine." The Alliance notes that many caregivers don't know how to marshal the goodwill of others and are reluctant to ask for help. Send one person the sentence "I cry every day" without the apology. Keep a short list of specific things people could do, so the next offer gets an answer.
What to do tonight
- If you cannot stop crying, or if the sentence includes not wanting to be here, call or text 988 now. Read the rest tomorrow.
- Write how many days in a row the crying has been true. If it is more than fourteen, the doctor appointment is about you, and it goes above her appointments on the list.
- Write the sleep number: nights this month you slept through.
- Send one person the sentence without "but I'm fine."
When to ask the care team or the doctor
Call your own doctor. Say you are a full time caregiver and you cry every day. The NIA says to tell your doctor that you are a caregiver. Bring the two-week line and the sleep number. Do not ask this website whether it is depression. Ask the person who can treat it. If her nights have changed, or a new confusion has arrived, that is her physician, separately. This page does not interpret a symptom, in her or in you, and it does not suggest a medicine.
New Plan Care Solutions
Hours off do not treat depression. They do change the week that is feeding it. New Plan Care Solutions is an independently owned non-medical in-home care company based in Chesterfield, Missouri, whose caregivers help with daily routines, meals, bathing and dressing, companionship, overnight presence and supervision at home in Ballwin, Chesterfield, Eureka, Glencoe, Grover, Pacific, Valley Park and St. Louis. It does not publish an hourly rate and neither do we.
Call (314) 405-0887.