Laundry does not look like a job until the basket reaches the ceiling. Then it is the thing that eats your Tuesday, the thing you run at 11 at night, and the thing a helper quietly puts off. Before you choose between doing it yourself, sending it out, or handing it to a helper, count what the job actually is in your parent's home. The counting is the part most people skip, and it is the part that shows you the answer.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Count the loads, not the chore
Write down how many loads a week the household produces. Include your parent's clothing, bed linens, towels, and any soiled items that need a separate wash. Then write how long each load takes from start to finish, which includes moving wet laundry, drying, folding, and putting things away. The second number is almost always bigger than people guess. Carrying is part of it too. Note how many trips up or down stairs, and whether the washer sits in a basement, a garage, or a closet across the house.
Check the machines and the room
A washer that works is not the same as a laundry setup that works. Look at the hookups, the dryer vent, the lighting, and whether there is a flat surface for folding near the machines. If your parent uses a wheelchair or walker, check whether the machine can be reached without bending or lifting. If the setup is awkward, the job will feel bigger than it is.
Know the soiled and special items before you choose
Some laundry needs its own handling. Bedding and clothing that come from personal care need a separate process, and not every commercial service will take them. Before you send anything out, ask the service what it accepts, how it separates those items, and whether it charges differently for them. Decide in advance who sorts and bags those items at home, so no one is handling them in the middle of a busy day without a plan.
Compare the three ways it gets done
Doing it yourself gives you the most control over water temperature, detergent, and how things are folded. It also takes the most hours. Ask yourself honestly how many hours a week you can give to it without taking them from sleep or from your own appointments.
Sending it out to a laundry service with pickup and delivery takes the load off the house. Ask about turnaround time, how the service handles a missed pickup, who is the contact if something is lost or damaged, whether items are labeled, and whether there is a cutoff for when you must have clothes back. Ask for the pricing unit in writing so you know whether you are paying by the bag, the weight, or the piece. Compare the total against the hours you save, not the bag alone.
Handing it to a helper is a household task. A hired or in-home non-medical helper can wash, dry, and fold as part of the week's work, and can bring in and put away the clean loads. Write that scope down so the job does not drift into personal care the helper is not doing. Agree on whether the helper uses your machines, what happens with soiled items, and who checks the stack at the end of the shift.
Write the split before the next pile
Most families end up with a mix. One person washes, a service handles the bulky bedding, and the folding goes to whoever is in the room. Write the mix on one sheet. Name the person for each step, the day it happens, and the backup if that person cannot make it. A plan on paper is easier to change than a basket that has been sitting in the hall all week.
If you are in the St. Louis area and want to find local options, the Local Help for Caregivers in St. Louis page is a place to start. Confirm each service yourself before you hand over a bag. You are allowed to send the laundry out. Choosing a service is part of caring for your parent, not a failure of it.