If your parent pays you for the care you already give, you are allowed to ask for the same paper a stranger would get. A written agreement does not mean you distrust your family. It means that when the arrangement changes, and it will, nobody has to reconstruct what was said at the kitchen table.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Write down what the job is
Start with the hours. Name the days, the start and end times, and the total each week. Then list the tasks in scope: meals, help with bathing or dressing, driving to appointments, errands, laundry, and household work your parent needs done. Be specific about the ones that are easy to forget, like waiting rooms, phone calls to the insurer, or the lifting that happens at 3am. If it takes your time, it belongs on the list or it will be argued about later.
Then write what is not in scope. Medicine stays with the family, the doctor and the pharmacist. Say that in the agreement so nobody has to guess. Also name any task that needs a licensed person, and say who arranges that help instead.
Finally, write the pay. Put the rate, how it is calculated, how often you are paid, and how payment is made. Decide how hours are recorded, who signs the record each week, and whether you keep a copy. Include what happens when you are sick or need a day off, and who covers in that case. If there is no paid time off, write that too. An empty line is an answer that will be filled in by whoever is more tired.
Check who holds the money
Find out which account the pay comes from and who has access to it. If someone else manages your parent's finances, that person should read the agreement before you sign. If a power of attorney exists, ask the person holding it to review the terms.
Then ask the people who run public benefits in your parent's area two things. First, does a payment to a family caregiver affect any benefit your parent receives? Second, does your state or county have a program that pays family caregivers, and what are its eligibility rules? Write down the names, the answers, and the date you asked. Compare answers from more than one office if they disagree. The general answers here are a starting point and not legal or tax advice. For those, ask a tax preparer or an attorney who handles elder and family matters.
If you are in the St. Louis area, the local help list is a place to start the calls. For how we check the rules we point to, see the sources page.
Plan the ending before anyone needs it
Every arrangement ends somehow. Your parent may move to a facility, your parent may die, you may need to stop, or a sibling may object. Write what happens in each case. Say how much notice either side gives, what is owed for hours already worked, and how the final hours are paid. Say where the records are kept and who can see them.
This is the part people skip because it feels like planning for the worst. It is planning for the next month. If you stop working on a Tuesday, the agreement tells everyone what happens on Wednesday.
Sign it and keep it moving
Sign two copies. Keep one with you and one with your parent's papers. Have the person who manages your parent's affairs initial each page. When hours or tasks change, change the agreement in writing too, and sign the new version. A short amendment is enough if the core terms stay the same.
You do not need this to be perfect. You need it to be specific enough that a tired person can find the answer without a fight. That is the whole job of the paper.