Many daughters say yes to nights without counting them. The parent is in the next room, so it seems obvious that you will hear and respond. That works for a week, then it wears down the person who is doing it. Size the night plan the way you would size a room: to the actual space, the actual use, and the actual person who has to live in it.

Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.

Count the wake-ups

Keep a simple log for seven nights. Write down each time you are woken, how long it took to settle things, and whether you got back to sleep. Do not guess. The log tells you how many nights a week the plan can really carry. If you are waking several times a night, the plan needs a second person before it needs more willpower.

Measure the route

Walk the path from your bed to your parent's bed and to the bathroom, in the dark, once. Note the thresholds, rugs, cords, stairs and the closed doors you would have to open. A route that is awkward at noon is worse at three in the morning. If the route has a step or a loose rug, fix it or plan around it before the first night.

Decide what you will respond to

Write down which situations you will handle alone and which need someone else. Calling for help, a fall, a new confusion, or a parent who will not settle may need a different response from the one you give for a bathroom trip. Put that list where a backup can read it.

Set the handoff

Name who takes the next night, what time the handoff happens, and what you do if that person cannot come. Put the backup's phone number on the same page as the list. A plan with no named second person is a single point of failure, and that falls on you.

Fit it to the house

In a one-floor home, a shared hallway may be enough to hear. In a two-floor home, you may need a monitor, a door left open, or a bed on your parent's floor. Check how well sound carries from each room you might sleep in. Consider work start times, pets, and whether anyone else in the house needs quiet.

If a hired night caregiver is part of the plan, check that the written duties include reminders and errands only for medicine. Giving, dispensing, sorting or managing medicine stays with the family, the doctor and the pharmacist.

Run the setup for one full week before you decide whether it works. Use the log to judge it, not how you feel on the first morning.